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EP 33- Arrow Tip Tuesday: Love Yourself in the Mirror

May 16, 2017 by Kendall Johnson in Podcast

I recently watched the above youtube video, of a young girl, Jessica, who  is standing on her bathroom counter, looking into the mirror, and shouting all the things she enjoys about her life. “my whole house is great! I can do anything good….I like my hair! I like my hair cuts! I like my hair ties! I like my pajamas!  I can do anything good!”

It made my heart smile. The video has received over 19 millions views.

What would people think if the video content was the same, except the child was instead, an adult?

My guess is the video would not go viral, understandably, because adults just aren’t as cute. But I believe the behavior would be labeled as childish, self-absorbed, egotistical,  and borderline psycho.

I have a confession: I’m addicted to talking to myself in the mirror. Yes, I am crazy,

but I’d rather be a crazy person who gazes deeply into my own eyes every morning and loves myself, than a crazy person who walks around acting like I’m okay all day, but inside I feel worthless.

It simply feels good. And it feels good to feel good.

There is research up the wazoo about how self-love leads to more happiness, better health decisions, less risk of depression and anxiety, enhanced academic performance, increased problem-solving skills, reduced procrastination…the list goes on (Huffington Post article with scientifically backed benefits here)

I’ve noticed that practicing self-love translates into other areas of my life, including my sport.

I bounce back quicker from an inaccurate pass on a day where my energy feels off, and when I receive criticism. Instead, of swearing at myself and asking what the hell is wrong with me, I send myself some love, and move forward.

Loving ourselves as a child comes naturally, but as we age, it becomes increasingly difficult. We are constantly being influenced by our environment on what is “good” and “bad”, and if we aren’t doing “good” then it’s easy to self-criticize. We have to consciously practice self-love every day or we fall into the comparison trap, and perceive ourselves as inadequate.

Loving myself in the mirror is the single greatest exercise I do to gain confidence.

Our relationship with ourselves is the only one that is guaranteed. We cannot escape the conversations that we have in our own head every day. I don’t know about you, but I personally prefer to talk with kind-hearted souls, rather than bullies.

 

The Mirror Exercise

  1. Look look in the mirror, and stare deep into your eyes. Not in the way you check to make sure your toothpaste isn’t smeared on the sides of your mouth, or that your nose isn’t symmetrical with your lips. But in the way that you would look at the one and only love of your life.

 

There’s something about looking into your own eyes that forces you to be present and realize that you are a human being who is doing the best they can, just like every other human in this world.

 

  1. Look into your eyes until you feel that you have connected with your true self. You’ll know when you know.

  2. Talk to yourself as if you are your best friend. Tell yourself what you love about yourself. I say things like, “I love you. I believe in you. You are the hardest worker I know. I am so proud of you for all you’ve been through. You are a champion. You are the hardest worker I know. Your dreams are coming true.” This is your time to tell yourself what you want to come to fruition, for yourself, and not anyone else.

  3. Continue speaking to yourself in the most compassionate, genuine tone, until you feel the way that you want to feel.

  4. Repeat this exercise as often as you like (anytime you’re alone with a mirror). I perform it as part ofmy morning routine, after I visualize, make my bed, and move. I find this exercise most effective when I’m feeling low or want to get myself pumped up on life.

 

This exercise for sure feels bizarre and uncomfortable at first, but I believe you can’t grow without some discomfort. 
If you’re bold enough to try it, let me know what you think. Did you notice a difference in your mood? What kind of things did you say to yourself?


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Resources

Video of girl loving herself in the mirror

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May 16, 2017 /Kendall Johnson
arrow living, arrow tip, confidence, female athlete, inspiration, selfcare, selflove
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Praise

“There isn’t anything Kendall does without pouring everything she has to offer into it. She cares enough to not be scared to say what you might not always want to hear. She’s already been a great mentor. She is someone I admire so much. She doesn’t make excuses and will achieve what she is after.”
— Allie Long, USWNT World Cup Champion
“Few people have positively impacted me on or off the field as much as Kendall. She has a unique ability to help elevate all of the lives she comes in contact with. Through her own pursuits, triumphs, and trials, she has accumulated a wealth of different approaches to professional and personal growth. It is impossible to spend time with her and not walk away as a better version of yourself.”
— Michelle Betos, NWSL Goalkeeper of the Year
“In the world of professional athletes, you are surrounded by self-motivated people who are all working to a varying degree of “obsessive” to push themselves as hard and far as they can physically, mentally, and psychologically go. This doesn’t even begin to describe Kendall’s approach to all aspects of life. She lets nothing slip through the cracks and has a natural ability to put her passion to practice. Anyone who sits down in a conversation with Kendall will leave smarter, challenged, and with their perspective on life considerably altered.”
— Emily Menges, NWSL Champion
“I met Kendall at a challenging time in my life, and from the start, I felt comfortable sharing those challenges with her. After I first opened up to her about it, it was easy from then on out because she always helped me see my feelings are valid; my experiences and my story are my own, and I can make them to be what I want. She helped me find the beauty in times of struggle and she somehow managed to respond to my life hurdles, and her own, with an open mind and a good laugh. She has helped me to believe life works for us, not against us, and my life has become better for that. She is an amazing teacher.”
— EJ Proctor, Duke goalkeeper
“I have played soccer almost my entire life, and something that I have always struggled with is my mindset and confidence. As someone who strives to train, play, and perform at the highest level all of the time, it is very frustrating to be set back by my tendency to let my mind get in the way of my play. My goal is to play soccer at the highest level possible–to be recognized as a top player at Kentucky, play professionally, and compete on the national team. I have tried many mental techniques surrounding my game in order to help maintain a steady mindset throughout my seasons, but I have struggled to find strategies that are the best fit for me. 

I have calls with Kendall very consistently and she always creates a space that makes me feel completely at ease and comfortable to share whatever is on my mind. Something that I really appreciate about talking with her is that she really wants to know and learn about me as a person, and we never immediately get into the soccer portion of the call. It is really comforting to know that I always have someone as knowledgeable and thoughtful as Kendall to talk to about the highlights and setbacks of my life and soccer journey, and I feel really confident in my future plans after talking with her. Not only do I feel like I am doing everything I possibly can to accomplish my goals as a result of the training schedule that we often work on together, but we also discuss and build upon different approaches to improve my mindset, such as journaling, visualization, mental plans and steps going into training, and morning routines.

I have learned so much from Kendall and have felt such a big difference in my confidence not only as a player, but also as a person. I have grown to trust my own voice and opinion on another level, as well as increasing my confidence in my knowledge and preparation. I have seen such a big difference in my mental and physical space as a whole and I always look forward to our next call. Thank you so much Kendall, I cannot express how much I appreciate all of the time, effort, support, and thoughtfulness you put into and bring to every one of our calls!”
— Elle, University of Kentucky commit

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